A Season of Reflection

I have spent the majority of past few months in reflection. I have attended small groups, EUIP programs, Sunday service, two retreats and a Lenten series within the past two months. 

The result has been this:

 I am committed to learning, growing, exploring

I didn't have to do a year of service. In fact, many people wonder why I did. I chose to commit myself to a year of living in intentional community, to working towards social justice by giving my time and talents to a non-profit for 40+hours a week and getting paid for a month about the same as I made one night at the bar. I am doing this because I am looking to live a more meaningful life, I want to work towards social justice, and doing a year of service is the best way I could think of to begin that journey.

I am opening myself up to vulnerability

I have learned that being vulnerable isn't always bad. Opening myself up to vulnerability means that I can foster meaningful relationships, and live as my authentic self. It means that I can feel happy, sad, mad, hurt, lonely, disappointed, joyful, and at peace without shame or regret. Opening myself up to vulnerability has allowed me to take an honest inventory of what is important to me, of the type of person that I want to be, of the hurt I have caused and the forgiveness I need to give, of the privilege I've lived with and the part I play in that. Being vulnerable can hurt, but so much growth is possible through it.

I am trusting where the spirit is moving me

This past year I've taken big leaps of faith. I made the very painful decision to end a relationship that I knew was no longer right for me, that I could not commit my full self to. I decided not to apply for graduate school, and not to move to New York after graduation, like I was supposed to. I chose to regain control over my life and commit to living it in a way that was authentic and true to who I am and who I want to be. Even though some may have thought it was too soon, I began dating Joe because there was something there that felt right and I couldn't ignore that feeling, I chose to allow myself to be happy and I'm so glad I did--I've found the man that I know I will marry. I made the decision to apply to the Episcopal Urban Intern Program in Los Angeles to do a year of service instead of getting a full-time job in my hometown. I accepted that position and moved across country to live in intentional community and spend a year working towards social justice in the company of other devoted young people. I choose to listen to God, to the spirit moving in and around me and trusting that when I follow, it will guide me. I am taking risks and living in a meaningful way because I am tired of playing it safe. I am ready to listen to who God is calling me to be, I am trusting where the spirit is moving me.

I am experiencing God's grace every single day

"God's grace is not defined as God being forgiving to us even though we sin. Grace is when God is a source of wholeness, which makes up for my failings. My failings hurt me and others and even the planet, and God's grace to me is that my brokenness is not the final word...It's God saying, 'I love the world too much to let your sin define you and be the final word. I am a God who makes all things new". --Nadia Bolz-Weber

You make beautiful things out of the dust, You make beautiful things out of us.

 

This time of reflection, prayer, vulnerability, community, growth is just what I needed in this season of Lent. May we all take time to reflect and remember who we are, and who we were created to be.

Below are some peeks into how I've spent my time in reflection the last couple of months

A Work In Progress--the faith community I am in on Thursday nights.

A Work In Progress--the faith community I am in on Thursday nights.

A Work In Progress--the faith community I am in on Thursday nights.

FTE West Coast Discernment Retreat, Lake Arrowhead California--February 2015

FTE West Coast Discernment Retreat, Lake Arrowhead California--February 2015

FTE West Coast Discernment Retreat, Lake Arrowhead California--February 2015

EUIP Winter/Spring Retreat at Camp Stevens, near San Diego CA

EUIP Winter/Spring Retreat at Camp Stevens, near San Diego CA

Versed--the Lenten series for young adults in the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles

Adventures at Joshua Tree National Park

To celebrate a long Valentine's Day weekend, Joe and I took a short trip out to Joshua Tree National Park! It was a beautiful weekend filled with sunshine and warm days in the high 70s. We started out very early Saturday morning and enjoyed a scenic drive from the mountains out towards the Mojave Desert. 

We decided to take a chance and bring our camping gear, almost all of the campsites in the park are first come, first serve. We drove through nearly all the campsites and had no luck, needless to say our first hour or so in the park was spent driving around looking for a spot with building frustration and desperation. Eventually Joe reached his limit and as a last ditch effort he asked a nice older couple if we could give them $20 for a $10/night site and camp on their site, as they were in a trailer and they had a large group site. Much to our surprise, they smiled and invited us over, saying that others had asked and didn't even offer to offset the cost--that he was more than happy to accommodate us at no cost since we were so respectful and sincere! So we ended up having quite a nice time with this couple, shared conversation over dinner, had a campfire, looked at the stars. It was one of those moments that reminded me that there are good people out there, it was heartwarming. 

We probably did about 7 miles of hiking total, and saw an incredible landscape. It was a beautiful weekend getaway and definitely a visit to remember!

With the Jumbo Rock sign, pointing towards our campsite!

A beautiful picture of Jumbo Rocks, where our campsite was at! (Clearly not taken by me!).

Our tent set up at Jumbo Rocks!

Ready for our first hike of the trip at Ryan Mountain!

Joe on the trail at Ryan Mountain

We made it to the top!

As a tradition, we set up our alters at the top!

It was a long way up, but the hike brought some beautiful views!

After a long day, we settled in at Keys Point to catch the sunset.

The next morning we went to the Cholla Gardens and saw some funky cacti! 

Driving to our next hike we saw some pretty awesome Joshua Trees!

For our last hike we trekked Fortynine Palms Oasis

Halfway through the hike we got a view of our destination--right in the middle you can see the tops of the 

Palms down in the valley ahead of us. An oasis in the desert! 

And what an Oasis it was! The palms provided a perfect place to get some shade and rest, have a snack, and enjoy some relaxation before the uphill hike back! There were huge boulders to climb and rest on, and below was a little swamp area with frogs and bugs of all kinds!

Another beautiful shot of Joshua Tree National Park (I wish I could say I took it!)

Overall, it was a trip to remember!