One goal I had in mind for myself this year was to experience new and different ways to worship. Now, I realize that this is a very broad goal. I was raised in the Episcopal Church, and have no desire to wander from it, but sometimes I just don’t feel spiritually fed and I think it’s perfectly acceptable to find ways to supplement my spiritual diet with outside resources.
I have attended the same church for my entire life. In all reality, that’s quite an accomplishment—or maybe a hindrance? Who’s to say? One outcome of that has been that I have a great appreciation for that parish, and for the love and community that church has given to me. As I’ve grown into my young adulthood, I’ve come to understand that not one church, or service, is going to fill all of my spiritual needs; I’m ok with that. I love the tradition of the Episcopal service; I find comfort in its consistency. It makes me feel at ease knowing that I can go to just about any Episcopal church on any given Sunday and know what I’m in for—there aren’t many surprises, and I kind of like it that way. And yet, while I love the consistency of the service, I often times feel a lack of connection with the words that I’m saying and singing. I’m not feeling spiritually fed.
I was really looking forward to being a part of a new congregation this year. I thought, “This is LA, I bet Episcopal churches here are super progressive…I’m going to love it!” And then the church I’m partnered with turned out to be so similar to my home parish in Ohio. To me, that confirmed the fact that moving to LA for a year of service wouldn’t result in new experiences being dropped into my lap. If I wanted new experiences, if I wanted to be challenged, I would have to make the choice to do that for myself.
So the other night, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and attend a worship service at a highly contemporary church. I’ve attended worship services in the past that were far more contemporary than that which I was used to, but this took it to a whole new level. The congregation had a lot of diversity, which was great. In typical LA fashion, everyone seemed glamorous…a church filled with beautiful young people. Honestly, it was very odd. The music was too loud and fast paced for my personal liking, it felt a little bit like being at a concert—hands up in the air, feet jumping up and down. There were giant projection screens with song lyrics on them, and live feed of the band playing and the people dancing about. So, there I stood in the pew with my roommate and another young professional woman who was a first timer like me. We stood there in the dark, music jamming, colored lights bouncing around. I felt out of place, and yet I was surrounded by people in my age bracket who were enjoying themselves, and I wondered why I wasn’t….
With music still going in the background, we were called to prayer. It was moving and invigorating, reflecting on Jesus’ last words “it is finished”. The worship leader prayed on the Greek translation which is “the debt is paid”—we prayed and reflected on how profound that really is. It doesn’t say the debt was paid, or will be paid, but is paid. It’s not a ticket you validate once and can’t use again. It is ongoing, it is present tense, it is paid each and every day. It does not expire. My heart was moved.
Another worship leader gave “the message”, and I felt like I was an audience member watching a stand-up comedian as he traveled the stage, using social references and modern language to connect with us, he kept it light hearted but would dig deep into thought when it was appropriate to do so. I almost felt distracted from his message because it was such a different approach to giving a sermon than what I was used to.
Many of his points were thought provoking; a few in particular really resonated with me. In 2 Corinthians, 3:17, Paul shares that “the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom”. What a beautiful thought…With every breath we take, we breathe in the spirit of God that surrounds us. God’s spirit is never absent from us, which means that with God’s presence, we have freedom, freedom from fear, freedom from all that tries to break us. God brings freedom into our lives. A couple verses earlier, in verse 12, Paul talks about hope, “Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold”. The worship leader discussed that hope is a combination of desire and expectation. He said that expectation for something without desire, that’s dread. And desire of something without being realistic about expectations, that’s disillusionment. Having a desire for something, with a realistic expectation of its fruition, that’s hope. And that is what we have through Christ—hope for Christ’s return, hope for our future, hope for today, hope for tomorrow. And because we have that hope we can be bold. What an interesting thought. Because I have true hope, I can be bold. Boldness can enable me to let the spirit guide my life. Boldness can let me be authentic, genuine. Boldness can help me show others in my life how God is changing me. The worship leader made a really powerful statement along the lines of “There are probably people who would want to go to church with you if you showed them what God does for you, how God is changing you”. To pull it all together, I felt that what I took away from the service was that through my hope, I can be bold. And in being bold, I won’t point out the darkness in society but reflect God’s light to others. Through reflecting God’s light, the spirit might surround others, and give them the freedom they have been looking for.
I’m not quite sure that the service was something that I’d want to regularly attend, but maybe it was something I needed that night. Maybe I needed to be reminded of the boldness I possess, of the hope that I carry, of the freedom God’s spirit brings. It gave me the push I needed to continue looking for ways to feed myself spiritually, and to be open to new opportunities. Regardless of the way the message was delivered though, how incredible it is that our God gives us freedom, hope, and boldness. “It is finished”
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